When your nerves are frayed

Sometimes you wonder if any of this would amount to anything at all. The hours, the days, the weeks, the months, and eventually the years. It is a constant whirl of activities; nothing ever stops. The speed increases day by day, and before you know it, everything is flashing by at the speed of light. You wonder when you started running that fast. Or were you ever running? Perhaps things, memories, stories were running past you, disappearing into the night while you were motionless. You were rooted to the ground by forces beyond your control. You tricked yourself into believing that you were moving with time, but you were not. Time was slipping by unknowingly while you struggled to rein it in. You could not, you never can, but you were delusional.

You watched as others put in half the effort and you wonder where their conscience went. Perhaps they never had one. A man was drowning in the water and two people were pulling the rope at the same time to haul him out of the water. One person dropped the rope unexpectedly and the other fell into the water from the sudden force. Why did you drop the rope? he yelled as he went down. Why did you drop the rope? the one in the water yelled.

I did it to save myself.

Such a seemingly innocuous and innocent answer, such a clear and frank response. You wonder if the truth will haunt the one who survived. Perhaps not, because remember, he did not have a conscience.